Attitude is everything. (April 2025)
When I was a child, I watched my father struggle with heart issues and other medical conditions. He was ahead of his time, always striving to meditate and be positive. He would attend yoga and meditation retreats—being the only man on these retreats—and I watched him work on calming down his “inner critic” by learning how to manage his nerves and anxiety.
I have always watched my mother pray and work on being positive and hopeful even when working in the emergency room. She has always been everyone’s “cheerleader.” Through watching both of them develop these positive and hopeful outlooks, I decided to learn from their examples not only to help my clients but to help myself.
On February 2, I lost one of my senior dogs, Madison, at age 17. As painful as it has been, I’ve tried to focus on the positives. First, I’m blessed to have had her for 17 years. Second, she wasn’t in pain. Third, I gave her a dignified and respectful way to leave us.
Research shows that people with a family history of heart disease who have a positive outlook are one third less likely to have a heart attack or other cardiovascular event within five to twenty five years, compared with those who have a negative outlook.
What has helped me develop my own positive outlook is to lean on friends and family more and develop those relationships. It also helps to learn how to reframe an initial negative response to a situation by saying the opposite of what you just said or thought.
I teach clients how to actively reframe their thoughts, because we do have to be intentional about it—like it or not, our minds are used to responding a certain way, and negativity is often the default setting. It’s also helpful to remind yourself to not sweat the “small” stuff and to putting your situation into broader perspective. I am not saying whatever you’re experiencing isn’t a big deal and doesn’t feel hard, but when you can look at what is happening in other parts of the world, or even to hard things you’ve overcome in the past, perhaps you can slightly change your attitude about it.
Also spend time doing things that feed your soul. Maybe it’s reading? Exploring new areas? Going on nature walks? Baking? When we can try to put ourselves out there, this can also help shift our attitude. I am not saying that this is a perfect science, because there will still be highs and lows. I have them all the time.
Practice gratitude for what you have rather than focusing on what you don’t have. I strive everyday to turn lemons into lemonade—or lemon meringue pie.
Resources:
Mantyselka, P., Kautianinen, H. & Miettola, J. Beliefs and attitudes towards lifestyle change and risks in primary care- a community-based study. BMC Public Health 19, 1049 (2019)
www.mayoclinic.org Positive thinking: Stop negative self-talk to reduce stress.
